Wow, uh so…
There’s a lot to say, many things have been going on, and yet, there’s very little to say. Currently, I’m bubbly and in a good mood and trying to get many things done, but the reality is that the past few months have been a massive struggle and will continue to be for some time.
I break all the rules of building a writer platform (that is, convincing a fanbase to converge on account of me just throwing words together on a regular basis or something to that effect). I am not consistent with posting…obviously. I am not even consistent with a theme or particular expertise. I’m just some ambitious single thirty-something bumbling around trying to figure her shit out like the rest of you.
There are some stabs here and there, once in a while I’ll post up a book review. But, honestly, not that many move me enough to want to write about them (fortunately that has been changing and I’ve been much more impressed now that I’ve paid more attention to my tastes a bit). GOOD LUCK getting me to stick to a schedule or writing far enough ahead to cover a lapse if I traipse off again. And if I’m being honest, as much as I love writing, I don’t so much care for writing about others’ writing. Plenty of critics exist; I’ll leave them to it.
So, what, then? Mostly why I have been hiding has a lot to do with growth, life necessities, and survival. Is there a niche for impoverished single queer white women navigating transplant life in Los Angeles? Isn’t that…half the city? Maybe so, but that’s me.
Do I gush about artists and musicians I’m currently obsessing over or rant about the latest LA Metro shutdown or other inconvenience? Does anyone really care to hear about how many times my ailing geriatric dog woke me up last night?
Deeper still, what about these things I’ve been musing over, these Big Things sitting in my mind all this time? Life lessons and the like. At the moment, my next book’s plot has been just okay but something was missing and the other day an entirely new subplot and shifting around of its current premise sparked up and has set my brain into creative overdrive. I’m churning out pages hand over fist and trying to capture everything before it disappears.
I talk a lot, and I mean A LOT, but is that the same as really creating a brand? Doubtful. Does it say anything about me aside from ranting and retweeting on Twitter? There is always a last word I’ll want to spit out somewhere at someone. But I can argue for arguments’ sake, and have started learning to curb this, but sometimes that means I end up remaining mum much longer than I thought I would be for keeping the peace.
So maybe the answer is less about one thing and more about all things. Being open and honest about my life, talking about what I know and feel confident about, what I am passionate about and want to learn more of, about my past and discussions of the future. I don’t know why I avoided it so much before, me, the person who wrote a memoir because people begged me to (and have at least two more to write at some point in my career).
So…I’ll be around, more often in general. I won’t promise any particular schedule. But I’ll be taking this seriously, giving people what they say they want, that they ask for–more of me–because it’s taken my whole life to understand that people do actually want me in their lives, and it’s time to start taking that seriously.
Sorry not sorry if you were expecting something different from this. Honestly, it’s not what I really intended to write when I sat down to do this–I fully intended to hide behind sarcasm and no fewer than two dick jokes to make up for absence and terrible delivery of a book I published five months ago–but I’m thankful this is what came out.
Also WordPress is too damn expensive to not use it, damn.
BUT! If you’re here for bookly stuff…just go here.