I Know Why He Did It
We do not teach anyone that a ring is like having a baby. It does not save, enhance, or promote a relationship—it burdens one. If and only if the couple is prepared and equipped to share that burden will it succeed long-term.
The Other Side of Infidelity Isn’t the Betrayed Partner—It’s the Extramarital One
Is it such an awful situation that we don’t even have a word for someone like me? Or are we so blind to the full scope of infidelity that we are not willing to consider that I, too, am a betrayed partner?
Questions I’m Not Sure I Want Answered
In the wake of what I experienced and as my perspective sharpened, I was left with questions I didn’t have before. They were painful to say out loud but I knew that acknowledging and accepting them was my way out. They were the sign I had at least located the home stretch even if I was not ready to traverse it.
Who Bears the Emotional Labor in an Affair?
I thought I was giving him the freedom to be himself, figure things out, and come to me when he felt ready. In reality, he was using me to plug the holes in the sinking ship of his marriage. And when she returned, there was no need for me. If one woman was defective and absent; the other would do just fine.
If There Could Ever Be a Good Ending to an Unknown Affair, I Found It
If either of us had boarded a plane, it would have been a much different outcome. A single kiss would have sealed a far worse fate. Something was going to give sooner or later. Much better that an algorithm tipped me off in the middle of the night rather than a condom breaking in the middle of a getaway.
The New Rule of Dating in the Pandemic is That There Are No Rules
Wasn’t dating already enough of a challenge? What even is the dating scene right now? Dating is hard. It just is. It’s never going to…
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Two Things People Misunderstand About the Words of Affirmation Love Language
The key word is "affirmation," not "words."
One Thing Your Writer Friends Want You to Know
A writer and their work are separate entities.
Someone Tried to Follow Me Home
He didn’t put his hands on me. If he verbally threatened me, I didn’t hear it on account of my headphones… What good would it do to file a report and start a paper trail?
Let People Enjoy the In-Between of the Holidays
Some people — probably more than some considering we have entire cultural norms around it — need to prepare for changes they want to make in their lives if they want to make them at all. And some who don’t care what specific date they do that are ready to do that without waiting. Both are great approaches as long as individuals feel secure in doing it.
Reidun Saxerud 