I Know Why He Did It

We do not teach anyone that a ring is like having a baby. It does not save, enhance, or promote a relationship—it burdens one. If and only if the couple is prepared and equipped to share that burden will it succeed long-term.

Questions I’m Not Sure I Want Answered

In the wake of what I experienced and as my perspective sharpened, I was left with questions I didn’t have before. They were painful to say out loud but I knew that acknowledging and accepting them was my way out. They were the sign I had at least located the home stretch even if I was not ready to traverse it.

Who Bears the Emotional Labor in an Affair?

I thought I was giving him the freedom to be himself, figure things out, and come to me when he felt ready. In reality, he was using me to plug the holes in the sinking ship of his marriage. And when she returned, there was no need for me. If one woman was defective and absent; the other would do just fine.

Let People Enjoy the In-Between of the Holidays

Some people — probably more than some considering we have entire cultural norms around it — need to prepare for changes they want to make in their lives if they want to make them at all. And some who don’t care what specific date they do that are ready to do that without waiting. Both are great approaches as long as individuals feel secure in doing it.